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As far as personalized license plates are concerned, I'm a pretty tough critic. I don't get too excited over names and hobbies - although I can appreciate what a prize JUKEBOX is. If you have to corrupt what you're saying by leaving out letters, or use the letters and numbers in some kind of word puzzle, or simply say something that doesn't make sense to the rest of the world, you lose.

That's right, SPARKY, I'm TALKN2U.

I suppose that's why this list is so short. Anyhow, here goes:

PERSON - The first Maryland personalized plate I ever saw, some decades ago. For me, it still sets the standard. I like the idea of claiming a good, solid, everyday word for oneself. Any takers for EARTH, WORLD, MAN, WOMAN, FAMILY, LIFE, SUNDAY, WINTER, HEART, NOSE...?

HEART - Hey, somebody must be listening! I spotted this Delaware tag on May 12 2007, in front of me, driving across Silver Lake in Dover.

BEANS - Spotted in September 2001. As per above, ok - as long as beans means beans.

WIN WIN - Nice and positive. Good job.

JULY 30 - And a happy birthday to you! Spotted in 1997. In retrospect, very curious that I'd never seen one of these before. A clear message, and very personal.

ZOOOOM - Ok, so this word needs a few extra Os.

LQQKER - For a moment I thought it was corrupted; somebody's second choice because the spell-checked version was taken. Then I got a chuckle.

The award for the most baffling goes to:

LAWYER - spotted in February 1998, in Washington, DC. I guess TRASH ME wouldn't fit.

And my condolences to the driver of the oh-so-practical-but-oh-so-uncool minivan with plates declaring (proudly? forlornly?):

MOMS ZOO

Without the apostrophe, see, you can't be completely sure who's creating the ruckus back there - a bunch of kids? Or their rowdy mothers?

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