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(Submitted to a "ROund RObin Letter" initiated by in-laws. March 1, 1995.)

Dear Readers,

The only thing of even the slightest interest that has happened around here is thusly:

I had to make some roof repairs to the backside of the house roof. So I attached a rope around my tum tum and threw it over the ridge of the roof to the front yard. Then looking for a strong place to tie the rope to, I saw the Volks sitting there and tied it to the back bumper. With this safety belt on, I could not fall off the back roof.

I was working along pretty good and here the rope starts to tighten up and I find myself going up over the ridge and down the front roof and into the shrubbery then out the driveway and out Clays Lane. Here, Mother Jane had taken off in the Volks, not knowing I was tied to it.

Soon as I realized what was going on and not liked being dragged, I got up and started jogging along. It would have been easy to run up alongside the Volks and tap on the window but this could have frightened Mother Jane and she might have fainted. So I just kept jogging along in back at the end of the rope. Mother Jane was only going to sister Ruth's so it was just a pleasant 5 mile jog.

Please don't ask why I didn't untie the rope from around my tum tum. Please don't let this incident get told out of the family, because on reading it in a document, it sounds like something that could only happen to Al Bundy.

Your friend,

Benton

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Written March 1 1995.

Helpful keywords not in the main text: benton sauter; jane sauter; volkswagen.